‘Happiness is a journey, not a destination’.
The beginning of any year can be a turbulent but invigorating place.
It is the time when we pick over the year that was, piercing out the ruts and cracks that have tripped us up and held us back and tied us down; bad habits, unresourceful mindsets, unconciously poor attention to our lifestyles, our bodies, our families and our networks.
But we also have an opportunity to plan anew – to start building something of value instead of focusing on the tearing down of stuff that hasn’t served us.
There is always so much potential nestling in a New Year. We can dream big and wide. We can bust the cubicle apart. We can even plan to dominate the world.
But I want you to think for a moment about those times in your life where something that you have planned to do did not turn out the way you intended.
Your road map was supposed to take you from A to B. But somehow you went from A via somewhere among the Js and Ks before settling down on the crest of a P. Not where you expected to end up at all.
But funnily enough, sitting on the elegant curve of that wayward P is actually kind of a cool place to be. In fact, you would even sheepishly admit that P has turned out to be way cooler than B, and now you declare how lucky you were to have bypassed B in the first place.
Life is a journey.
Like the best adventures, it’s the unexpected stuff that happens along the way that gives us the most fun. It’s difficult to have a memorable trip where every day you keep to a strict itinerary, each experience expected and timetabled. This is the worst kind of package holiday, where you take a seat at the same time, next to the same people at the same table of the “same-old-same-old”.
The best journeys happen when life throws a little of the random at you.
(Like my trip to Rome in ‘96 – I arrived for my first 3 day visit, alone, with no accomodation booked. I found a seriously dodgy little hotel near the main termini, and went to find a meal in a half-deserted restaurant recommended by the hotel owner. As I sat eating my pasta and reading a book, I overheard the voices of the couple at the next table – they were Australian, too. We started chatting, and it turned out that we had a best friend in common. After dinner I said goodbye to my new friends, and popped in to the supermarket next to the hotel to buy a bottle of water, where I bumped (literally) into an old high school friend who was now in the Navy and staying in town for two days. Now I had a sight-seeing buddy. Totally random fabulousness.)
So by all means, make plans. But plan from the end and allow some room for the random.
Because when you want to go somewhere new – like making the kind of epic change big enough to turn your world around – it’s not the plan that will get you there.
More often than not, it’s having the plan that stops you.
A plan can just get in the way. It limits your options and prevents you from taking advantage of the unexpected. It forces the flexibility out of your mindset when being flexible is essential to carve out a new way of doing things.
When water is trying to carve out a stream for itself, it doesn’t go in a straight line. It bends and curves, it eddies around obstacles until it reaches its destination. It doesn’t come up against a rock or a bank and just huff about, crying ‘I was meant to go that way!’ It just moves to where there is least resistance.
Have the goal in mind. Intend to get there. Make it your primary focus to just enjoy the journey. To stay relaxed and open to the randomness of what will inevitably be thrown in your path.
World domination can be yours. But only if you are open to the unfolding of the map as you go.
So stick your pin on that star in the sky, point yourself in the right direction and then go have an adventure!
Do you have trouble letting go of the control in your life? Have you noticed times when being flexible allowed the unexpected to get you where you needed to be? Share them in the comments below!
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Your Rome trip reminds me of my trip to Ireland this past summer. I showed up with $10 and ten days until my departure flight. Here’s how it went with the customs officer:
Him: “And where will you be staying, sir?”
Me: “Dunno. Probably a hostel.”
Him: “Okay… What cities will you be visiting?”
Me: ” I haven’t decided yet, but probably the big ones”
Him: “Do you have any friends or family in the country?”
Me: “Nope.”
For ten days I lives without a plan, a watch, or a map. I left the country with dozens of new friends, hundreds of photographs, and a happiness that is seldom felt in our modern lives.
Keep being awesome!
Great post Natalie! 5 years ago I was stuffed into a cubicle churning out other people’s work – I never would have imagined that in only a few years I’d do a complete shift and be a Life Coach and writer! Life can be amazing if we let ourselves step off the path.
Love your blog!!
Melinda´s last blog ..I Hate Myself
Hooray! Letting it in and letting ourselves ‘off the path’ is the best way to allow the kind of random, magical interference we need..
Thank you Melinda!
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