I had the privilege when I was 20 years old of learning from the stupendous Dame Joan Sutherland. She was a vocal titan, but in person remarkably grounded in an earthy, no nonsense Australian diva kind of way.
I would start to sing a phrase and she would interject with probably the most valuable piece of advice I have ever received -
“Stop. Think of the note before you sing it.”
So, before I even started to make a sound, I would focus silently on the quality of the sound I wanted to make, the way I wanted the vowel to be shaped in my mouth, and the intention behind the words I was about to sing.
The difference this advice made to me as an artist and as a person was profound. When I followed her advice, I felt strong. More in control, of my voice and my craft. It was not about me so much anymore, but about the music and the responsibility I had been blessed with – to do it justice, to make it sing, to move people.
Can you sense why that’s a BIG shift?
Because intention shifts the focus away from the outcome – “Oh please let her like my voice!” to the process – “How do I want this note to sound?”
And when we shift from outcome to process, we dislodge ourselves from the fear and unpredictability of the future.
We plant ourselves firmly in the here and now.
Think of the note before you sing it. How can you use this?
If you are feeling a little out of control, or that your day is always at the mercy of other people’s whims – just take a quiet moment to ask yourself, “What is it, at this very moment, that I want?”
If you’re about to make a phone call, don’t just lunge at the phone and dial blindly while thinking of a hundred other things you have to do afterwards. Pause, and quietly decide why you are calling and what the best outcome for you would be. Then go into the call with this intention in mind.
Or if you are writing an email to someone, pay attention to why you are writing. Don’t just dash off a three syllable one liner. (Unless that’s consciously what you want!)
If your partner is winding you up and you start to hear yourself saying things you don’t mean in the kind of sarcastic voice you secretly loathe, leave the room. Breathe. What are you really trying to say? How can you just get there - now – without all of the shouting and periphery ego-wrangling that isn’t what you want at all?
It’s about making an effort to do everything – from brushing your teeth to reading your child a bedtime story to buying a loaf of bread – with an awareness of exactly what you are doing and why you are doing it.
You will gain so much clarity from this exercise – because when you ask yourself for an intention, what you are really asking is “How can I live this moment fully? With the attention it deserves?”
And you are giving youself a measure of success – by asking “What do I want?” you can decide more readily if you actually succeeded in getting it. There’s a great deal of power in creating your own benchmarks. When your rules for success are fuzzy and undefined, how will you know if you ever get it right?
This is living.
Your life is a collection of nows, not a list of things to do tomorrow or a journal stuffed with reminicences. It is NOW. This moment. That is all there is.
So savour your now by being as aware as you can be of every tiny, little second of it. Intend to feel good. Intend to be generous. Intend to be attentive to everything around you, with all of your senses.
Think before you plunge yourself into the myriad actions and reactions that make up the magic of your life. Decide what you want, so you’ll know if you get it. And start living at the centre of each and every remarkable moment that you have.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, that’s just beautiful, thank you. Reminds me to tell my voice coaching clients to think about the meaning of the words they are saying. Our minds often go blank when we’re speaking to an audience, or especially reading aloud.
Love your blog!
LaVonne Ellis´s last blog ..Awesome Fear Wrangling: The Interview
Oh yes, this is so true! This reminds me of a recent Chris Guillebeau post about motivational speakers – where you don’t go out there to be “motivational”, you go out there to speak passionately about something, and it is the passion that motivates. Equally, we don’t help ourselves as performers or speakers by trying to control our delivery or our nerves – we empower ourselves instead by reminding ourselves why we are there, what we want to share and why it matters to us. Spotlight on the passion and not on the icky palms!
Thanks LaVonne, love having you here!
Right on!
but for me there’s even another step beyond that -rather then “How do I want this note to sound?” I ask the note “How do you want to sound?”
To let go and let the music sing me, rather then the other way around – for me that is the ultimate.
Andy
Andy Dolph´s last blog ..Under the Sky in an Inflatable Planetarium
I adore that Andy – but what you suggest requires a great deal of trust, don’t you think? It’s like that drama game when you have to allow yourself to fall backwards, trusting that your colleagues will catch you. Can you allow yourself to fall into the music and trust that it will speak to you and show you the way? And can you trust enough in your ability to communicate how that note wants to sound? Trust is so important here, because when we trust we let go.
Thank you!
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