We’ve all had them. A big, chewy, hole-in-the-stomach failure. The kind of screw-up that you can only successfully make in front of everyone.
When you have just so completely gotten it wrong that when the thought of it creeps into your head (usually just before you go to sleep) it’s like an evil snowball. It just rolls over and over, gathering more and more evidence, collecting as much proof as it can of your ability to spectacularly flop – and then thwack! You’re covered in chilly, icy flakes of horribleness.
So you start again, with all eyes watching you. You venture bravely out into the chilly wind of the next uncharted adventure. You’re knee-deep in the cold, but dammit at least you’re doing it, right? Until it all goes tits up and it’s another snowball smack in the face.
Thwack!
You stand up. Brush yourself off and try again. And it all goes wrong. Again.
Thwack! Bam!
Argh, cold! And bruised! And numb!
Once you’ve been hit enough times, it’s pretty tempting to just go home. To rug up somewhere cosy and warm and foetal and never venture out again.
But I promise you, the success is in the snowballs.
With every thwack you get, you can choose to learn. You can adapt. You can regroup and reassess. You can learn to dodge faster. To duck. And soon, you may even start to have some fun.
Because your journey is not about outcome. It’s not about showing the world that you can get it right first time. (And even if you do, you’ll only end up demonstrating how to screw it up even better further on down the line, that much is guaranteed.)
Your genius is not in the light bulb. It’s in the thousand ways it took to glowingly arrive.
Read any story of greatness and you’ll see that for every public success there are thousands of epic, now-forgotten failures.
Start paying attention to the journey that it takes to get to the top. This is where the flow hides, in the nooks and crannies of the long, snowy line between inspiration and “ta-da!”
So – why be ashamed of revealing your tracks? Why not celebrate your failures as a focusing mechanism? As proof that you are alive and thinking and striving for a glimmer of greatness that only comes when you leave the snug safety of your bed and go forth into the blizzard?
Know that there will always be people in this world who practise really hard at throwing snowballs. Whose raison d’etre is pointing out the fail.
You know what? Thank them. Embrace it. Retweet their criticism to the world. Highlight your mistakes with a firm stroke of yellow and shout “I am doing! I am making tracks in the snow! I’m going somewhere! Exploring! Growing and taking action and testing and trying! It’s why I am here. ”
And in retrospect, when you look back over the tracks you have carved for yourself, you will have proof that the process was worthwhile. That the success and the victory that is yours was born in those tracks.
Say thank you every time you fail. For in each and every freezing thwack is the beginning of a truly fantastic snowman.
Comments – sing it back to me.
Think about the brilliant successes you’ve had in your life – what numbing failures did you endure that made those winning moments possible?
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You are the awesome.
Really.
I love your writing so so so much.
Once, when I was playing some singing bowls live for a group of people, I whacked a couple of bowls that sounded horrible together.
One minute there was sweet music and the next minute there was a long, wah-wah-ey ewwwww.
Part of me was horrified. But I closed my eyes and dug deep to find my flow again. And what followed was some of the best, most brilliant playing I’ve ever done. Ever.
I knew when the wonky note was sounded that I could either let this be something that broke the performance, or something that pushed it to another level of awesome.
I think life is the same way. I feel like it almost always comes down to these two choices.
Fabulous post, as always. Big thanks for your smartness.
Fabeku Fatunmise´s last blog ..In The Fight Or In The Flow?
Interesting suggestion to reveal your tracks – espcially for us Australians. We Autralians are not known for our understanding and tolerance of failures yet we do love a winner. I have been interested by the fan fare surronding Jessica Watsons arrival back in Sydney. I wonder how many people who are celebrating her arrival were saying 7 months ago don’t go after her “failed” practice run where she collided with a ship. I listened to Poppy King talk about how in the US she has found more tolerance and acceptance of failures with these as part of develoopment & evolution of a person and business. I hope to see a greater understanding of the connection between stumbling, failing and getting back up again to move forward. Well done sharing the importance of revelang your tracks and practical ways to deal with the nay sayers.
My biggest failure in life was getting laid off. For someone who was used to being highly regarded at work it felt shockingly insulting to be told my time was done at at company where I’d worked for 18 years. Of course, Like most failures, this one was also a huge gift. In the expansive freedom I encountered in the “outside” world I’ve been able to set my own pace, and find my own voice.
I love your blog, Natalie – light as a feather but absolutely delightful and thought provoking!
Melinda´s last blog ..The Freedom of Self Awareness
Melinda, it’s all unfolding perfectly.
Thank you!
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